“I would apply for the internship, but I won’t get it.”
“If I put my hand up, it’s not going to be the right answer.”
“Everyone else knows what to do but me.”
Being negative about yourself and your decisions is one of the easiest things to do, but the most detrimental. Why is it so easy to downgrade your accomplishments and ignore how far you’ve come? Why is it so hard to admit that you handled that situation well, or you look good today, or that you worked so hard and you deserve that 1st place ribbon?
I have always jumped straight to the negative ending, the worst scenario imaginable that if something does go my way I’m often taken aback. I never prepared myself for the good stuff. I rarely give myself the credit I deserve.
I think a lot of it is that it might be coming across cocky if you admit that you got this. Some people do that, for sure – but I’ve realised there is a difference between being excited because you have accomplished so much and rubbing it in someone’s face that you have accomplished more than them. It is all about assessing and balancing.
It is so easy to be negative, but you never get the rewards you need. If you say you aren’t going to get something, you probably won’t. In the end, you can blame it on the fact you didn’t try as hard because you knew you wouldn’t or that stuff like this never goes in your favour.
Right now, I’m trying to coach myself to go to the positives first instead of the negatives. I might fail, but then again why would I? I must have thought I had the talent, or the smarts, or the initiative or at least something to even consider it an option in the first place. Why should I let someone beat me? Why would they? Instead of worrying about what everyone else is doing, or getting, or wanting I found the need to refocus. What am I doing? What am I getting out of it? What am I wanting from it?
I’ve come so far but I’ve got so far to go.
I’ve got so far to go BUT. HOLY. SHITE. I have come so bloody far.